It Can’t Be Done

A Brief Modern History of What Can’t Happen Presidentially

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1948: To err is Truman. He’s so unpopular compared to Thomas E. Dewey that Election Day is just a formality.

1952: Twenty years of New Deal presidents proves Democrats have a lock on the Electoral College.

1960: No Roman Catholic, much less an inexperienced 43-year-old, is going to win the White House.

1968: Richard M. Nixon is a two-time loser, yesterday’s man who couldn’t even grab his home-state governorship.

1976: Jimmy Who? There’s a reason the last Deep South candidate for president was elected in 1848.

1980: Ronald Reagan is much too far to the right, and he’d be the oldest president ever elected.

1988: Voters want a change, not someone who reminds women of their first husband and men of a guy born on third base who thinks he hit a triple.

1992: Oh sure, America is going to oust a war hero for a draft-dodging, pot-smoking, womanizing governor of Dogpatch.

2000: The voters’ populist distaste for dynasty will keep the verbally challenged, wayward son of a washed-up former president out of the White House.

2008: An African-American with a thin resume at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? In which parallel universe?

2012: YOUR CHOICE: No controversial president with unemployment over 8% could possibly be reelected. No Mormon candidate, especially one who lacks a common touch, could possibly be elected.